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Help and support for the transgender community

North West Region

Kay Holmes

Hi, my name is Kay Holmes and I'm R O for N.W. England. I was born in the mid 1950s, I'm married to my fully supportive wife and my two children are now grown-up. I did not dress as a woman until my mid 30s, when I was invited on a girls' night out. Much to my surprise I realised that I had enjoyed the experience rather more than I should have. Before long I realised that I had released a part of my personality that could not be controlled. It was like opening Pandora's Box! I met my soon to be wife not long after I realised that I was trans. This was something we discussed, and she was 100% supportive. Whilst raising our family, my female side was suppressed as best as I could. It was a time of great confusion for me, as my male side had always been considered very masculine. I couldn't easily come to terms with the desire to express a very strong, feminine part of my personality. I sometimes suffered terribly from feelings of guilt, despite having the full love and support of my wife. It has taken me a very long time to arrive at this point in my life, where I'm finally comfortable with who I am.

In recent years, I became a member of The Beaumont Society. As my confidence in myself grew, I realised that I wanted to help and offer support to other transgender people. I had received nothing but support from my wife, yet it still took me so long to come to terms with myself. I began to consider what it must be like for a trans person who did not have the same level of support. To this end I have become much more involved with trans issues and I hope that as R O for N.W. England I will be in a better position to help.