Challenges
For us the main challenge has been to bring the rest of the family gradually to an understanding of the new situation.
This is very hard but fortunately we are dealing with people who love us and are prepared to struggle with the concepts no matter how long it takes. They haven't cut us off. I'm sure we will get there but in the meantime we have to bear with not seeing some of the grandchildren for a while.
Secondly, I'm always aware of how much attention we attract when we are out as a couple. I'm getting used to being stared at but I don't like it.
To live with this by working out compromises between us. Where & how often can he dress; it must be what we both agree and can live with. We think children would be confused to see their neighbour dressed as a woman, so take care to avoid their seeing. We have let other neighbours, who have known us 25 years, know.
The greatest challenge has been to ensure the boundaries I set (and I do think it is the right of the accepting partner to set boundaries) were adhered to. This year 14 years after I first knew Penny she crossed the last boundary - going out dressed in ort home town. It was done without consultation and I was cross, but 14 years tempered my annoyance. Prior to this I was always on edge when we went out together in case anyone recognized me and then wondered who the tall rather shy woman with me was - before it dawned on them.
Would you like to join us?
Beaumont Partners is a volunteer organisation, run exclusively by women, for women. We aim to improve the emotional wellbeing of women who are experiencing issues as a result of discovering that their partners are transgender.
If you're a woman with experience of living with someone who's transgender and are willing to share your personal experience to the benefit of others, we'd love to hear from you - why not drop us an email at orchidbp@virginmedia.com
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