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Help and support for the transgender community

Scotland Region

Karen Cobham

I imagine that many children feel "different"; I certainly did. I enjoyed boy's games but socially I was always happier to be with girls. It was just more comfortable, more natural. 

Oh yes, and I refused to wear trousers till I was well into primary school!

Being raised in the North of Scotland this wasn't an insurmountable problem as I could get away with wearing a kilt. I'm pretty sure though that I was the only boy in school to do so. I'm very sure that I was the only boy to play cowboys while wearing a kilt (I still have the photos).

I remember studying my mother's clothing catalogues deciding what I would wear when I was older and how my hair would be styled. My sister's magazines provided ideas about a future career; maybe a nurse, maybe a ballerina.


Strangely, I was relatively old before it dawned on me that there was one big issue standing in the way of my plans!

Unlike many others, I've never really felt guilty about "being different". Yes, life would have been easier, more straightforward if i wasn't non-binary but I knew that I couldn't change that. I really wanted to get married at some point but my choice of partners would be limited.  It would be essential that they knew and accepted me before the start of a long-term relationship.

Alas, my first marriage didn't work out.

It was a little while after the breakup that I was enjoying an evening in a pub with a group of acquaintances.  Due to a particular piece of music that was playing at the time, discussion turned to men wearing dresses. I noticed that one of the women in particular appeared very enthusiastic about the idea and I made a point of getting her on her own later in the evening and confessing all.

We've now been together for twenty-seven years and married for twenty one of these. 

We went to "safe" clubs and were regulars at the Miss TV Scotland weekends.  Yes, I did enter once coming a respectable third in the senior category. 

During lockdown I joined The Beaumont Society and was immediately thrilled by the friendliness, information and opportunities I found there.  

I was recently asked if I would take on the role of Regional Organiser for Scotland, Northern Ireland and Eire.  Yes, intimidating but what adventures ahead!

If I can be of help in any respect or if you wish to offer assistance, please don't hesitate to email me on: